i've moved.

from toronto to oakville.

and from here to http://aar83.wordpress.com

see ya on the other side :)

testimony

i just completed a daniel fast with my church - we did a partial fast for 21 days, and had to eliminate meat, dairy, bread, processed/fried food, sugar, caffiene etc from our diet. it was essentially fruits, veggies, whole grains and water for 21 days. the first week was definitely a challenge - i think i had a headache for about 4 days straight as my body tried to figure out what i was doing to it! but eventually i got into the swing of things, and i became disciplined in both my diet and my devotions - two things i desperately needed.

now just to put some context to the situation - i was working on contract at my last job, which ended in october after i found out that they were not going to extend it any longer. so since the middle of october i have been looking for work. as of december 31st i had broken up with my long time boyfriend, and i am living in my studio apartment downtown toronto.

it was hard enough not having a job, but once the new year began, everything just hit me all at once - i didn't have a job, i was dealing with a breakup, and i was living alone. that combination, by the way, is possibly the worst. because i didn't have a job, i was sitting at home in my apartment consumed by my thoughts, wondering how i could have made my relationship work and why no one will call me for an interview. i had no one to distract me from my thoughts, so i would mull over them, and get lost in my head. that first week of january was extremely difficult for me -- i believe that i was on the border of depression. i am so grateful for the grace of God, because even though i knew that all these things were happening to and around me, i still heard that small voice in my head saying 'don't let the enemy win.' i immediately recognized the work of the enemy in my life as he attempted to pull me into a pit of despair. that sunday, january 10th, i went back to my church and the pastor was encouraging all of us to participate in the daniel fast - he said it was an amazing way to start off the year so that we could really discern God's voice and direction for our lives this year. i decided then and there that i would do it. that was exactly what i needed.

over the course of the three weeks, i really began to see God move in my life. i received a call for an interview the first week of the fast. i was able to bless a friend who lost her job, to provide understanding and support. i felt the negativity and despair beginning to lift from my life. in the third week, i could feel the enemy trying to get me back - i was struggling with my devotions, and in temptations for food. but the grace of God got me through to the end.

at the end of our fast, my pastor had organized a weekend called 'winter fire' - he had invited a pastor from ottawa to come preach on saturday and sunday night, and a ministry group called 'higher ground' to come minister at the three services - saturday night, sunday morning and sunday night. i have never been so blessed as i was this past weekend. the sunday night service was incredible -- the visiting pastor did not even preach, he just moved in the Holy Spirit, which had filled the church. he called to the front those who struggled with addiction, depression, a spirit of heaviness, and any other stronghold that was holding them down. i went up to the front to receive freedom from that spirit of heaviness that the enemy had been trying to drown me in. as i stood at the front there, the pastor said 'some of you standing here are stuck in your past, thinking that what you had was so wonderful, but let me tell you now -- THE BEST IS YET TO COME!' and at that point i knew that i had received God's freedom and peace. i am truly confident that yes, the best IS yet to come!! i left the church with a spirit of joy, and relief -- God is GOOD! He is so faithful to us, He never leaves us, He never forsakes us....and i know it's one thing to just read it but it is another thing to believe it and truly know it in your heart. that song that i posted on my wall was like our theme song for the weekend, and i just love it:

"i'm reaping the harvest God promised me
take back what the devil stole from me
and i rejoice today
for i shall recover it all!"

that has been my song today - i've played it like 10 times already (or more!) - and i am moving forward believing those promises. i feel refreshed, rejuvenated, strengthened, blessed...God is good. AMEN!!!

if i could
go back
to those moments
where we sat
together
i would tell you how much i love you
if i could
go back
to those memories
of us
i would replace
silence with laughter
solemnity with smiles
i would think of you first
and last
and in the middle
if i could
i would return all that was given to me
a hundred fold
and even more
with a word
a touch
a look
a smile
a hug
a prayer
if i could

welcome to 2010.

living alone and being unemployed has been a true eye opener for me. at first, i enjoyed the down time, you know, it was a relief from the crazy commuting schedule and the day to day routine of work. but as time has gone on, being alone can really get to you...i can go through an entire day seeing no one. i can also go through an entire day seeing people, interacting with them and still feel alone. there is something to be said about that community that a workplace provides. a sense of belonging, camaraderie, familiarity...something without which, it is hard to be apart from! so, in this new year, i'm trying to find purpose in my days - something to do, somewhere to go...it's not been easy, but nothing in life worth having ever is. that's my two cents for the day (it's all i got now that i'm on EI, ha!) but stay tuned...there should be more in the days to come :)

sunday night.

does anyone even read this anymore? just putting this out there to see if you're there!

after a long absence i think i'd like to start writing in my blog again. so here we go, let's see how long this lasts :)

china: final day

i apologize to those of you who may have been checking my blog periodically in the hopes of finding a new and interesting piece from my china trip! i had the best intentions when i started blogging again, but unfortunately they fell to the wayside...so again, i apologize.

this trip has been incredible! i will be posting some pictures on facebook so you can get a visual of what the places below look like. i would post them here now, but my bags are all packed and my pictures are somewhere in one of my suitacases!

so, over these three weeks, i have stayed in shanghai, visited beijing, and hangzhou. some highlights:

shanghai -- the modern city

• shaoxing park -- tucked away in the French Concession, it was filled with seniors just hanging out, playing mah jong and exercising on the public exercise machines
  
• yu yuen gardens -- lots of pagodas, caves, very lush, beautiful gardens in the middle of the city
  
• going up to the 88th floor of the jin mao to get a view of the city -- unfortunately, the smog clouded most of the view, but it was still worth it!
• dinner at y's table -- a set menu of fancy but delicious japanese food
• century park

beijing -- the historic city

• the sleeper train
  
• temple of heaven
• hongqaio pearl market -- a tip for anyone travelling to beijing who likes to shop and a good bargain - do not miss the silk and pearl markets. bargain hard, and if you don't like the price they give you, just walk away. more often than not, the price will plummet.
• the great wall -- this was phenomenal.
  
• visiting mao

hangzhou -- the lush, scenic city

• biking around west lake and through lanes of traffic

tonight, i sleep my last night in shanghai and tomorrow, i ride the maglev (google it, it's awesome) to the airport and i'm back in the air for fourteen hours before that sweet touchdown.

china, it's been interesting and eyeopening, thanks for the good times. until we meet again.

shanghai adventure: day four

shanghai is totally kicking my butt. although i suppose it could also be the remains of jet lag combined with an injection of unusual amounts of daily walking (approx 4 hours daily)...here's how the last few days have been: wake up at 5/6am, can't fall back asleep, get off the bed, get out of the house, explore/have adventures, tired by early evening (we're talkin 6/7pm), bed before 10...

but, not to leave you without anything, find below a photo of the shanghai sculpture park. it's tucked away behind all of the busyness of the city and is a lovely serene, peaceful place. i stayed there for almost two hours this morning..! surrounding the park are a multitude of galleries and other art institutions. though modern, it has a similar feel to that of the distillery district in toronto. it's a great space and shanghai continues to amaze me with their ability to create such serenity amidst the hustle and bustle of the city...